Thanks to everyone who responded to my last blog! Even though I didn't respond right away, I read your comments over and over! A) It was so nice to hear from some of you and B) You made some really good points and I had to re-read them to remind myself of the truth they hold. But now onto tomorrow. Yes. I will ALWAYS have days where wasting away the whole day WILL happen. (It has many times already.) But instead of beating myself up, I'm going to focus on what's PAST that day, or days, (or maybe even a whole week wasted....)
To start with some AMAZING news!! Some of you may know that I have struggled with my 'current' job. I work a lot of nights/weekends/days-which at first glance is nice and needed to help pay the bills. BUT I was not making very much money AT ALL, drove a really long way, so wasted a lot of money on gas, AND I rarely got to see my husband. In Duet. 24:5 (I'm not a history or biblical major so if someone reading would like to confirm or deny my accusations with facts.... feel free to put me in my place!) a man and woman would take their whole first year of marriage away from 'normal' life activities, i.e., a man would not go to battle.
"If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married"
So, although we can't take a whole year off to focus on each other, I did think that we should at least have weekends every now and again to focus on each other. So at the beginning of the month, I let my boss know that I would be leaving on March 31. TODAY! Great! Thought I could find a job by then...
we waited...
and waited...
and waited....
(mind you that I applied for a new job weeks before giving my 'two weeks notice')
Z was starting to freak out. (ok, me too...) How are we going to afford bills? Will we have money to pay for groceries? (Another post later about finances-which we are NOT living the stress-free life in...) So anyway, the good stuff you're waiting for....
I got home yesterday from work and got an e-mail saying they would like me to set up a time for an interview!! I called this morning and have an interview on Monday! Talk about living by faith. God always knows what we need, even if it's not how and when we think we need it. And although I like to plan everything, God is really showing me that I need to give that up! Heck, I married into the Military. I really AM being tested. This job was another example. Although I don't have the job yet, at least I have a possibility when that possibility seemed so meek just a couple days ago.
So just know if you are impatient like me, or freaking out about an upcoming change in your life, or the change is SOO unclear, know that God would really like you to turn your concerns to him. Even if you aren't used to talking with him, or you're BFF's, he listens and the best part: he cares and generally has a plan-just be aware you may find out your plans and His and different, but STILL good! Ok, I didn't mean to end up preaching... Just excited to see some benefits of not having complete control over my life!
So I don't know if I am the only person who struggles with this, but I kick myself daily because of it. I always have big plans to do for the day and then 9:00pm rolls around and I somehow realize that I haven't even done half of the things I wanted to do. Sometimes (ok if i'm honest sometimes is more like most of the time) it's because I get distracted by catching up with my DVR programs, or waste my time seeing what my friends are up to on facebook, or reading yet another blog of something else I WANT to accomplish. Sometimes it's because the time just goes by way too quickly or I get sidetracked by cleaning something so unimportant... like rearranging my marker drawer instead of cleaning off my desk! No one sees inside my marker drawer, so why don't I do the more important tasks first? So then I get even more frustrated that I haven't done the things I NEEDED to get done or the things that I would LIKE to do-like paint or create something for a friend. And then when I realize that I've somehow wasted away another day I get frustrated, and then realize I have twice as much to do the next day. Now most people then work extra hard to complete their tasks... I'm not most people. Somehow when my to-do-list gets over my head I panic and basically lock up. That means the next day I don't even want to get out of my pajamas, all I want to do is crawl onto the couch and waste MORE of the day. If I miraculously have a productive day, then the next day I can't wait to wake up, make a full hearty breakfast for my husband, do a quick load of laundry, make the bed-and my day has already been more productive than other days. Why is this? Is this just me? I'm sure there has to be something out there to help me get out of this horrible rut. But I bet that I could waste a whole day searching through blogs for an answer. Maybe there is a solution that someone has found to get out and STAY out of this rut. I'd LOVE to hear it. I think another thing that I have to realize is that I CAN'T do it all. I want to be the best cook in the world, a super creative baker, keep a perfectly clean house, create lots of painting and sell my work, make cards to give to my friends, WRITE in those cards to keep up with family and friends, pretty much just make anything.... I'm already preparing for kids and the things that I could make them-like knitting cute hats and sweaters. I think I should be able to do it all. I haven't even been able to finish knitting a kitchen rag without it looking like a spaceship. I can't do it all. And sometimes I get sidetracked. There. I said it. Maybe my first step to overcoming this problem is to admit I have one! And of course, if there is ANYONE who reads my crazy ramblings and you have a solution, I'd MORE than love to hear it!!!
